When we are above the line we are in creation. We are consciously choosing to operate from a place of awareness. We are in control and in the driver's seat.
When we are below the line we are in reaction. We are subject to our unconscious operating, without awareness. We are not in control, but are passengers along for the ride whilst our default operating system is in control.
We can compare reaction to the behaviour of a newborn baby. When a newborn baby is hungry or cold or tired it will cry or scream. They have no filter, no thought about whether crying or screaming is the best way to get fed or warmed up or rocked to sleep. A baby simply reacts in any given moment to whatever it is that they are feeling.
Choosing to respond is an adult behaviour, although not all adults are well practiced at responding vs reacting. Choosing to respond means that you might feel a certain way in any given moment, perhaps you feel hungry and cold and tired, however you are able to control your reaction and instead of crying or screaming about it, you choose to use your creative mind to consider the most appropriate way to get what you need. Therefore, you might decide to go and make yourself a sandwich and then put on a jersey and finally lay down on the couch for a nap.
Mindfulness
If we wish to take control of our reactions and transform them into considered, conscious and adult responses we need to pay attention to what we are experiencing in the present moment and create a pause between what stimulates the feelings or reactions within us, so we can then choose how best to respond. Importantly too is that when we're in the pause and we're noticing our feelings and reactions, we consider them without any judgement or longing for them to be different. We treat them as merely interesting, but not binding, knowing that the purpose of noticing them is to be able to choose to respond differently.
As an example, you might receive a message from the company where you work to say that there are going to be smaller than usual salary increases this year as a result of a challenging previous year's business. Your initial reaction might be a combination of physical sensations - maybe you feel a tightness in your chest as you hold your breath, then a clenching of your jaw- as well as emotions - perhaps you feel anger followed by anxiety shortly thereafter - and lastly a barrage of thoughts rushes through your mind as you think about what a tough year it's been for you too, how hard you've worked for the company, how disappointed you feel because you had been counting on getting a bigger increase and how worried you are now because you don't know how you're going to continue to afford your current lifestyle and the financial commitments that come with it.
All of these thoughts, feelings, sensations occur quickly and concurrently. They are triggered unconsciously. You might feel compelled to pick up the phone and call someone about it, or perhaps you burst into tears and feel paralysed and unable to work for the remainder of the day. Maybe you even start to browse the career classifieds to see what other options you have. Congratulations! You are human! What you are experiencing is completely normal- it's your default operating system running.
The antidote to Reaction
The antidote to reaction is to simply notice. Pay attention on purpose, in the present moment, without judgement. By bringing mindfulness to yourself in the moment you allow yourself the benefit of the pause... a space to allow your brain and body a chance to calm down, regulate and when in that clearer, more conscious state- the ability to think through how you want to respond to the original stimulus.
This video gives us some insight into how our emotions drive our reactions and how by bringing mindfulness to the moment, we can use conscious thoughts to influence our emotions and change our responses.
[embed]https://youtu.be/xNY0AAUtH3g[/embed]
Following on from our example about receiving a message about a lower than expected annual salary increase, we might choose to respond by leaving our desk to go outside and have a walk, giving ourselves the time to calm down and clear our head before we engage with anyone else about the issue. We might then decide to speak to someone, or perhaps we don't. The point being that before we do anything we first notice our feelings and reactions, and then give ourselves a pause to consciously consider what to do about them.
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If we wish to take control of our reactions and transform them into considered, conscious and adult responses we need to pay attention to what we are experiencing in the present moment and create a pause between what stimulates the feelings or reactions within us, so we can then choose how best to respond. Importantly too is that when we're in the pause and we're noticing our feelings and reactions, we consider them without any judgement or longing for them to be different. We treat them as merely interesting, but not binding, knowing that the purpose of noticing them is to be able to choose to respond differently.
As an example, you might receive a message from the company where you work to say that there are going to be smaller than usual salary increases this year as a result of a challenging previous year's business. Your initial reaction might be a combination of physical sensations - maybe you feel a tightness in your chest as you hold your breath, then a clenching of your jaw- as well as emotions - perhaps you feel anger followed by anxiety shortly thereafter - and lastly a barrage of thoughts rushes through your mind as you think about what a tough year it's been for you too, how hard you've worked for the company, how disappointed you feel because you had been counting on getting a bigger increase and how worried you are now because you don't know how you're going to continue to afford your current lifestyle and the financial commitments that come with it.
All of these thoughts, feelings, sensations occur quickly and concurrently. They are triggered unconsciously. You might feel compelled to pick up the phone and call someone about it, or perhaps you burst into tears and feel paralysed and unable to work for the remainder of the day. Maybe you even start to browse the career classifieds to see what other options you have. Congratulations! You are human! What you are experiencing is completely normal- it's your default operating system running.